Growing up I thought a lot about what made a person special. A lot of times I came to the conclusion that child prodigies were sure signs of God making someone special. Kids who mastered the music of Bach and Beethoven on the piano at 5 years old. Geniuses who went to college at 10. People with Eidetic memory and didn’t have to study for tests. People with natural athletic abilities who barely needed training or any training at all. People who could naturally do anything without really trying. Gifts that were immediately recognizable to others. Gifts that caused people to be in awe and say, “Wow, that person is really special. That person has a gift.” In my mind, these were the people God made special.
My gifts, I felt, were hidden. Underneath my big glasses, my overbite, and my awkwardness was a little girl trying her best to get people to accept her. To fit in with the crowd and not stick out like a sore thumb.
I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I was quiet and shy until I was comfortable. Then once I was comfortable I talked too much and scared people away. Being an only child makes you awkward that way. I wasn’t invited to a lot of social gatherings because I was loud and expressive. I talked different and looked different. I wasn’t black enough for the popular black kids and too black for the white kids. Too energetic, too weird, too quiet, too innocent and inexperienced, too unattractive, too embarrassing, too passionate, too much of a dreamer. Most times I was forgotten about and left alone. I often asked God what was special about me?
All of the things that made me stick out like a sore thumb were what made me special. My gift is being passionate, expressive, and creative. My gift is to empower dreamers like myself. My gift is to comfort the awkward and the shy. My gift is to brighten up a room with my warm energy and light. My gift is to hear God’s voice and feel his spirit and deliver his message to people in need. My gift is to stand strong in the midst of adversity because I know who my God is. These are my gifts, covered in my awkward black girl-ness, and hidden from the world and only to be revealed by God through his timing, his purpose and his plan.
God loves you. He created you to be different and unique. To withstand rejection and stand in confidence and strength. To empower others with the gifts God has given you. You are a treasure to God. Continue to dream the dreams God has given you and don’t ever give up.