Growing Pains


Homecoming is a place where you reminisce and catch up with old college classmates. It is also an event where you drink, party, and go home hungover on Sunday. I hate it. I enjoyed it for the first five years after graduation but after that I was over it. I tolerated it mostly because my mother loves homecoming and my late aunt also loved homecoming. So I went every year out of obligation. I’ve only ever liked one homecoming and that was my ten year anniversary celebration with my sorority sisters.
I mostly did not want to go because I felt like I didn’t belong there anymore. It’s my alma mater. I’ll always love and support my HBCU but I don’t belong there anymore. I don’t fit there anymore. I’ve outgrown those past friendships and relationships. I’m not the person I was in college. I’m not even the person I was five yeas ago. I don’t feel like being around people I don’t really remember or don’t really like. I no long choose to participate in events I know I won’t enjoy.  It took me awhile but I finally arrived at doing what edifies me in a positive way and saying no to the rest. 
Sometimes you’ll find yourself in a familiar place and realize that you don’t belong there anymore. You’ll feel it in your spirit. You don’t belong in those clubs anymore. You don’t belong in certain social groups anymore. You’ve outgrown friendships and relationships. You no longer belong at the job you’ve had forever. You don’t have the same interests anymore. You don’t belong in your hometown anymore. You’ve elevated and you’ve grown. You may have tried to go back to those familiar places because it’s safer than the unknown. You probably stayed because you didn’t want to leave anyone behind. You’re stuck because can’t let go of certain things. But, in the end you always end up wondering why you’re there.
It’s ok that you’ve outgrown these things because now you’re finding out who you are, what your passions are, and what you prefer to surround yourself with. It’s ok to leave anything behind that no longer feeds you in a positive way. It’s time to move forward into the place where God wants you to be. This is about you and your happiness and your peace. You no longer owe anyone an explanation.

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