Records

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Me and rejection have been buddies since the fourth grade. It’s something that I’ve lived with. It’s something that I’ve counted on. It’s something I’ve often welcomed because it fueled me. Other times I used it as my shield to keep others at bay. I’d reject them before they rejected me.

This record kept playing in the background until I could no longer concentrate on my purpose. It clouded my path. It made me tired, frustrated, and depressed. I knew that it was slowly killing me on the inside but I just couldn’t take the needle off the record. It was a sad song I’d become comfortable with. Maybe, I thought, rejection and I were just going to get married and live together forever. That its burden would forever be on my shoulders. Maybe I could wear it as a badge of honor. I could tell everyone, whether they cared or not, about my life long rejection and how I barely survived it. Maybe I’d get sympathy then. Maybe someone will come and save me.

One day I was going through my old journals and I realized I had written down every major rejection that I’ve ever experienced in life. Some entries were dreams I’ve had and others were stories I’ve recalled from my past. The pages were just flooded with sadness, brokenness, and feelings of being lost. I went through every journal with tears in my eyes reading about this sad and empty person. I didn’t want to be this person anymore. I had to get unstuck from this one track record. I realized in that moment that I was growing and rejection was no longer going to be my story. I’d taken the first step.

I’ve taken the needle off the record. I’ve thrown my old record away and replaced it with a blank one. One that will give me a fresh start and allow me to continue onto my path of greatness. I’m breaking the recycled record of my past and welcoming in a brighter future. If I continue to live in my greatness then nothing but greatness will surround me.


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