Blessings are weird sometimes. God is unpredictable and doesn’t really answer your prayers in a way that you think He would. Your blessings often to come through something or someone you did not expect. God is funny that way :).
I was doing a photoshoot for an organization alongside a young woman who was sort of running the event. I didn’t think nothing of her at first because I just wanted to get the whole thing over with. It was hot as balls and the sun had been showing off that day. During the photoshoot, however, I noticed that every nervous subject that stood in front of that camera had a big smile on their face because of this young woman. She had this light about her that made everyone comfortable in front of the camera. It certainly made my job as a photographer much easier for sure. She reminded me of myself when I was younger, full of life and energy. Not that I am spiritually dead now but just a little bit older and wiser and cautious is all.
When the photoshoot was over I started to pack up my gear and she came over to help me. She knew how to break down my equipment! I mean it isn’t hard but not everyone knows what they’re doing either. It didn’t dawn on me until after I got home that she knew a little more about my field of work than I thought. I don’t know why, maybe the spirit was leading me, but I asked if she would join up with me on possible future photoshoots. She agreed. This was definitely out of my comfort zone. I am an introverted extrovert. When I am comfortable then you can’t get me to shut up. When I am not I don’t offer up anything. My “I don’t know you like that” game is strong. Anyway, long story short, I thought that it was me that was going to help her out with her dreams. As it turned out, however, she ended up helping me.
As I said blessings don’t materialize in ways that you think it would. Here I was praying that God would send me someone my age or older to help me but instead God sent this brilliant, smart, energetic woman who was 15 years younger than me. I don’t know why but she just decided that she was going to step in and help me with my business. She had better ideas and she far more smarter than me. I’ve always believed that you learn the most when you’re not the smartest person in the room.
This was a blessing indeed but it wasn’t easy to embrace. Great blessings often come with a spiritual battle. For me it wasn’t really about her age but it was about my age. Why couldn’t I have been smarter in my 20’s? Why couldn’t I have been more confident and had my -ish together at that age? I felt old, late, and left behind.
I had to fight demonic battles about my own inadequacies in comparison to her gifts and talents. I had to fight my longstanding trust issues with anyone that came into my life. Could I trust this person? Why does she want to help me? There are so many other qualified people who can get her to where she needs to go. Why does she want my talents? I would ask her sometimes like, “Are you sure you want to work with me?” I tried to push her away because I was trying to reject her before she rejected me. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely if I kept pushing my inadequacies and insecurities on her that she would leave and find someone more worthy.
The great thing about her is that she is stubborn. When I tried to exit left or right she blocked my path. When I tried to pump fake and go around her she did not budge. She ignored every negative thing and just simply held out her hand and said, “Get up. Let’s do this.” Everything she ever said to me was always “we” and “us.” WE can work on our dreams together and WE can get through this together. Everyone isn’t going to like US as entrepreneurs. I’ve never had anyone include me in on anything. I’ve always had to stand alone and fight my own battles. Her words were both refreshing and frightening.
I realized that in that moment I needed to make a decision. Was I going to continue to play that same rejection record over and over again? Was I going to push away a good person because I was scared? Was I going to deny a blessing from God? Fortunately, I do not have the luxury of passing up blessings. So with all my hopes and fears and insecurities I decided to step out on faith. I was going to step out of my comfort zone and trust in God and embrace the unexpected.