I was on a mountaintop in a dream. The mountaintop, which was thousands of feet in the air and covered in snow, was vast and glorious. The air was fresh and the view expanded far and wide, full of possibilities. But, I couldn’t enjoy any of it because I believed that I would fall. I was worried that the Earth would shake and cause an avalanche that would bury me. For a brief moment I saw another mountain from afar that was higher and more glorious than the one I was already on. It was so beautiful but yet so high up and even more dangerous. I wanted to be up there but I was too scared. I couldn’t enjoy the view for long because the foundations of the mountain began to shake underneath me until I awoke from the dream.
Imposter Syndrome. It is an overused term but still very much a real thing. Having so many disappointments in this entrepreneurial journey I’ve learned to accept disappointments and failures but be cautious of victories. I can’t allow myself to be happy that I got to one of my mountaintops without fear that I don’t belong there or it’s all going to go away or come crashing down.
I don’t know how or when Imposter Syndrome shows up in ones life but I think it often comes from early rejection. You may have been laughed at because you shared a dream. You may have been told that you were too incompetent to pursue something so big. Others may have told you that you were unattractive or they’ve forced their perceptions of you on your life. Past traumas definitely shape your self esteem.
Being an entrepreneur makes it worse because you are out there on your own carving a path for yourself. You have no resources and no money at times. You fail and you embarrass yourself time and time again. You feel as though you are not where you think you should be or what your version of success should look like. Then when something good comes from your hard work you don’t want to accept it because all the negativity from the world, even from yourself, tells you you are not worthy…even if your accomplishments say otherwise.
God chose you. No matter what anyone else says He chose you. No one can change God’s will for your life. Second, look how far you’ve come. You may not be where you think you should be by now but you are not where you started. You are stronger. You went through the fire and came out refined. You’ve done so many awesome things through out this journey and have accomplished so much. You are freaking awesome. Of course you belong on that mountaintop. You deserve to see the views of what you’ve accomplished. You deserve to see even more glorious mountains in the distance, embracing the vastness of God.
Of course there are many more mountains to climb and sometimes it just seems like you’ll never get there. I know. But you cannot move forward until you’ve sat on the mountaintop in gratitude of how far God has brought you. You can’t move forward until you let go of all that has hurt you in the past. You’ve got to learn to love yourself again despite all that surrounds you. You’ve got to know that you’ve work too hard and come too far to reject anything wonderful about yourself and your accomplishments. Everything else is just white noise. Embrace that mountaintop. God is not finished with you. You have so much more to offer this world than what you think. Don’t give up.